Was dating a struggle in 2018? Same. Dating is hard and there’s a good chance it’s going to get even harder in the new year (sorry to disappoint you). The only thing you can do is stay true to yourself and never lower your standards. Here are 12 pieces of dating advice you should take with you in 2019 to hopefully help you cut through the noise and actually meet people you’re compatible with:
Broaden Your Search
Don’t just rely on the bar scene to help you meet people. We’re not saying you can’t find love at a wine lounge, but broaden your search. Go to poetry slams, have your friend’s set you up, try online dating, or even join clubs near you. There are so many ways to meet people, you just have to get out of your comfort zone to do it!
Choose The Right Dating App
Speaking of online dating, please do your research before you create a profile. Odds are, you have friends who’ve successfully met someone online. Try those dating sites first, before you just download a random one. You don’t want to waste your time on a dating app that doesn’t target the kind of relationship you’re looking for.
Stop Thinking So Far Ahead
Live in the moment — it’s easier said than done, right? Living in the moment doesn’t have to be difficult, you just have to stop thinking so far ahead. Instead of trying to picture the next 10 years of your life with a person you just went out with last night, slow down and relax. So many of us ruin relationships before they even start because we think too far ahead. You’ll drive yourself crazies with what-ifs and maybes.
Put Yourself First
It’s okay to be selfish at the beginning of a relationship! You’re trying to figure out if you like someone — you kind of have to be selfish in order to figure that out. You need to see if the person can hang out with your friends, go places you enjoy, and fit into your lifestyle.
Be Confident
This one goes without saying, but it’s not always easy to be confident. Especially in the dating world. Everyone has so many possibilities when it comes to who they can spend their time with, why would someone decide to spend their time with you? Because you’re amazing! And we’re not just saying that. Take time to reflect on all of your positive characteristics and what you bring to the table. The more you see your worth, the more confident you’ll be.
Leave The Phone Alone
Don’t have your phone out when you’re spending time with people. Not only is it rude but it’s very distracting. Your date doesn’t need to constantly see messages popping up on your phone and neither do you. Focus your attention on the person you’re with and keep your phone in your purse or car.
Don’t Let Your Friends Get In Your Head
It’s important to get your friends, and families, approval on someone you’re seeing. With that said, you don’t want to do it too soon. Wait until you feel comfortable dating a person before you introduce them to the people in your life. That way, you’ll already have an opinion on the person before your friends and family chime in with their two cents.
Find Personalities You’re Attracted To (Not People)
Instead of looking for someone who meets the physical characteristics you’ve been looking for in a partner, pay attention to personalities. You might have an idea of what you’d like your partner to look like, but sometimes that idea isn’t really what you need. The best way to make sure you’re dating the right person is to look for personalities you’re compatible with — not people.
Don’t Be Afraid To Ask Questions
You have the right to ask however many questions you want! Whether it’s the first date or the 100th date, don’t be afraid to speak up to get the answers you want. You don’t necessarily want to ask someone a million questions over and over but you don’t want to waste your time on someone you’re not compatible with.
Don’t Waste Your Time
Guess what? If you don’t like someone, you don’t have to do date them! So many people say you should give it a month or so before you decide if you should date someone or not. Why? You can tell if you like someone or not pretty soon after meeting them. If they don’t make you laugh and you don’t feel excited about them, there’s no need to give it a month or even a week. Move on!
Forgive The Mess Your Ex’s Made
Forgive your ex and anyone else who wronged you in the past. Before 2018 is over, take time to grieve your past relationships so you can actually make sure you’re over them. The worst thing you can do in 2019, is to try to date with a ton of baggage. Yes, your ex broke up with you. But how long are you supposed to be mad at him for that? Forgive and forget so you can be happy!
Listen To The Voice Inside Your Head
If you’re not ready to date, don’t date! Ignore what your family and friends are saying and listen to the tiny voice inside your head. It’s crucial you’re making decisions because they’re what you want to do — no one else! After all, you can’t be successful in a relationship if you’re not comfortable with who you are and the decisions you’re making. Know yourself before you try to know someone else!